Zara Fall Fashion 2014

Dress: Topshop 

Booties: H&M

Hair: Indique coil curl

Scarf: Zara 

Shoes: Zara 

Bag: H&M 

Black/white Turtleneck: Gap

Hair update (New Products)

Hey! I wanted to give you a natural hair update since it's now fall and eventually going into winter. Well... since school started I've really been busy and not taking care of my hair like I should. I usually have a sew-in around this time of year, but I am waiting to purchase the perfect hair, so I'm natural for now. This is a struggle for me because I have to think about my hair in the morning before I walk out the door. Lately I just throw a cap on or put the goddess braid in my head since it would last a few days. On top of doing that my hair was previously in the Havana Marley Twist. I don't like to wash my hair often because I don't think I need to. African American hair grows when it's dirty. As an young girl when my hair was down my back I only got my hair wash or done on special occasion/holidays. I don't know where it came from that washing my hair every two week is something important. It works for some people and for others not so much. However, my scalp was very dry and itchy, so I decided that I needed a good oil treatment. I really didn't want to wash my hair but I did. I figured this would be the last time I'll wash it before I get a sew-in next month. So, I used all Shea Moisture products in my hair (Shampoo, Conditioner, Curling Gel Souffle), but for my hot oil treatment I used the Argan Oil Treatment. When I massaged the oil treatment into my head and scalp, I put the conditioning heat cap oil. OMG!!!!! my scalp and hair felt amazing. I had never tried this hot oil treatment before, so I was impressed. My hair feels so healthy and moisturized....Not too oily. Finally I wanted to do a hairstyle that would last, so I did a bantu knot using the Sea Moisture Curling Gel Souffle (Review coming soon). Here is the process and ending result :)

Our Love

Wow! This weekend was very interesting just because of my sister and I relationship. Firstly, I would do almost anything for my little sister but we get on each other last nerves...it's crazy. When I come home for the weekend from school she says that when she gets in the most trouble. Now...I will admit that when I'm home, things are going on and I peep things. She is a teenager now so she is in between stages in her life. But!!! She doesn't listen to my mom like she should sometime or she just have her priorities messed up. Soooo when I'm hkme I call her out and she thinks I want to her to get in the trouble. I'm trying to help her do things she does won't happen again but that's where we don't see eye-to-eye. Now we never got to the point where we both are crying at the situation. She saying thing I never heard her say and it made me so sad that she thought that way or even thought I want her to get her in trouble like that. It was a mess!!!!!!!! My mom don't play that, so she we were all talking and she told my sister and I off lol. And the end we had to apologize and huge each other. It was hard to even think that happen just because of the relationship we have. We are very close. Maybe too close but I have no problem with having my little sister right there with me in my life journey in the passenger seat. She's 

Only following my footsteps, I obviously inspire her and she inspires me. I appreciate her so much. I decided right then in that moment that I never want to have that issue with my sister again. I love her to much for and I know that hurt my mom to see that. Now that evey thing is good. I made a promise to myself that I will stay in a big sisters place and be there for her no matter what. I understand she going through a stage so I am willing to be her everything...along with my mom of course. She's my taller shadow:) 

Time To Go Hard

HEY!!!!!!! Man I don't know where the heck time went BUT...I'm back because I never left.  I've been very busy this pass summer with my internship. I didn't really have a summer because I hardly went out and got a chance to enjoy the moment unless I was at a family function (Still Fun though lol). SOOOOO I'm really excited to start back blogging for my last year as an undergraduate student. I have so many stories that has helped build my character thus far, but of course I know I have way more to learn in the future. Basically, This blog will be the entry of my new new beginning of the new new journey on hahahahaa.

UPDATES:

-Redecorating my room in my apartment :) pic coming soon

-I got a boyfriend and his name is Homework LOL

-My and I have sorted all our issues and moving forward living another year together

-I'm doing the natural hair thing while in school b/c i usually have weave and let me just say it's a struggle -_-

-I made a quite a few thousands this summer working, so I invested in stocks at Ariel Investment Company

Morning Update

Good morning, 

I am blogging this morning to update myself and keep in mind that I am on my journey of self love. Right now I am listening to India.Arie - I Am Light, which is something I will be doing every morning with my aunt. It has truly been hard for me to get adjusted to a new chapter in my life. I work at a non-profit for the summer and it has really taught me more than I thought I would learn in just this short period of time. I struggle with my confidence starting out and was very intimidated with the people around me. I did not feel smart at all. One day at work I could not take it anymore, after I received a call from my apartment....About some BS yall!!! that wash IT! I was pissed throughout my whole meeting at work. In addition, my boss starts talking to me about how I need to do this... and need to do that...and "that is why people act the way they do with you and BLAH BLAH BLAH". I was fed up and stormed out of the office. I could not stop crying on my way home because I was sick of hearing the same shit...like SICK! I was disgusted and angry at myself. 

Look! my mom and I had long talk...and let me you something. I have never felt like what she said will change my whole attitude when I walk into work but it did. Than, I went to brunch with my aunt who is a positive life coach and she gave me activities to do so that I may reflect on myself and attitude towards doing only what makes ME happy. I mean I was so ready to get back to work on mondayyyyy lol. To just them that that was the old me in the pass. Everyday I come in with a smile and Good morning!!! no matter what. 

I know that this is all apart of me understanding who I am and learning how I want to go forth with working with people in my career so I am accepting it. This self love journey is crazy starting out, I'm pretty much alone, so I starting to get comfortable with it though. I have great ideas for the summer coming up for myself and I plan to accomplish them all..AND I WILL. 

UPDATE!!!!- So at the moment I am still working in the with the non-profit organization, putting my human resources skills to work like Creating document, Interviewing people and etc. 

-I started my no-heat challenge for my hair this month with a co-worker. I do this every summer but I always blow dry my hair. This summer I'm not even doing that, so I'm going to be rocking a lot of twist outs.

-I looking for an apartment kind of without my roommate knowing because I don't feel she need to know whatI'm doing when she not even concern with bills ( the truth )

-Waking up with my daily devotion, praying everyday because I know prayer works, blogging, dancing and teaching dance, reading my grateful work book and living my life like it is golden!

Where is she?

Numerous things has happened today that caused me to reaction emotionally. I'm not a emotional person, even though I'm sensitive, I do not show emotion. However, today was a interesting day because I cried like a baby in the car on my way home from work. I was disgusted with myself and how I handle things. I know I can be a push over but my boss sent me over the edge, as well as my roommate. I cannot blame anyone but myself for how I have allow people to treat me in certain situations. I cannot understand for the life of me what is wrong with myself, in terms of speaking up, being heard, correcting people, letting my light shine, and etc. I'm so angry with myself because I know I'm capable o doing everything the next person can do. I doubt myself and get intimidated easily, which doesn't take much. After my boss call herself reading me, I burst in to tears and walked out the office. I'm so sick of hearing the same thing over and over and over again. At that point I just wanted to go home and I did. I'm so upset with myself like...I'm suppose to be tying a good thing right now and so far my summer has been the opposite concerning the things I thought would be different by now. Mentally and emotionally I'm lost as to where do I go to find Dekka and bring the best person she can be through every situation that comes my way ???

 

Any suggestions...

Self Reflect

Life can hit you with so many different things at once but it is all for a reason. The fact that we all make it through every situation matters, no matter how long it takes. People can be inconsiderate of you or only think of themselves which is fine...but that not okay for you to accept it all the time. Once you self reflect on things, you realize how much of a better person you are without all the Riff-Raff of others opinions or ew vibes around you. I've been feeling like this for a while and it is so refreshing to understand that you can remove yourself from others if you don't want to be around. This process does not have to spiteful in any way, you just simply remove yourself the best way possible. Nowadays people don't get the hint, so you have to be aggressive with your action. It was hard for me in the beginning but I realized that I was only hurting myself being around others I didn't want to be around. I encourage anyone to do this as a experience this just to self reflect on how you feel about a person or creating a a relationship with yourself and God. There is nothing wrong with that because at the end of the day I am my own best friend and I will love God and  myself first.

Irra!!!!

I'm so tired of depending on people to take me places. I NEED A CAR!!!!!!! It's frustrating waiting for people on their own time. I have to go by when they are ready. I have a lot of thing I do on a day-to-day bases but cant really fulfill any of that because the limit I have on transportation. I get tired of asking people for a ride, waiting for a ride, and everything like its irritating,. I'm really not tyring to sound ungrateful I'm just in the moment right now because i feel stuck :(

Spring Break

It's my spring break and I'm really enjoying it. I have been going to out to eat like crazy and getting a lot of rest. I'm catching up on my channels I watch on YouTube and reading motivational but to keep me in a positive mind set. Everyone is on actual spring break somewhere hot, but I'm in Chicago which is not all bad even though this weather in bipolar I am still enjoying myself. I was confused about what I wanted to do and why I was so unhappy but it was because I really have not been putting my all into anything lately but that's changing. I'm so glad this spring break has been going so good so far :)

It's a Process

I'm so glad I use this as a gateway to vent or just express myself. I've been so confused these pass couple of days ( nothing new) about what i really want to do. I started thinking dance was something I wanted to do because it's my passion, but I feel like I also need to be doing something that will have me comfortable financially. My major is corporate communication.  The reason I am confused is because I really don't know how to start my future. This made me so sad too, the other day I wanted to cry while I was talking to my dad but OMG he really helped me understand some things I need to do. See the thing is...I feel like I am not good at anything which is not so not true but because I'm not where I should be in certain areas of my life is all because of ME. To be totally honest I do not feel like I have not been giving my all into important values in my life, I just do the bare minimum but then expect a good grade or results just because I did it. This is nothing but being LAZY and that's getting me NOWHERE. I realized I have to start working in my fulling potential so that I may know what the hell it is I want to go forth and pursue. Now I'm like..where do I start. I want to jump right on in with dance but am I really ready? am I really ready for an internship in my major ? NO! I 100% don't feel prepared enough to even put myself out there yet on the level. I just need some motivation and prayer to get me through these journey of self because I'm telling it's some days I just want to give up. In addition, I've been struggling with my self physically as well. Last week into the beginning of this week I was not felling the way I looked. And I know we all have those moments but I really was disgusted with my face because of my acne. It can really bring me down so I try to overlook it but I was just not feeling my face and how I look in the mirror. on instagram SELFIES :) are the worst. because I  almost cried when I saw how I looked in one of my friend picture (selfies w/ two people) and I hated it. So then I thought to myself WAIT...that is hoe god made me and I am beautiful. I should not be tripping over things that will eventually go away. I use to get irritated over anything real bad or throw a pitty party just to say bad things to make it okay and its really not cool to do. I love myself, so when I take a pic or looking in my reflection I will say five positive things about how I look :) Once again I am stilling mastering the craft of Dekka 

P.s.

 "Once a task is first begun, do it until it's totally done

be that task big or small, do it well or not at all." 

 

I'M 22

WOOT WOOT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Hey guys so today is my B-day and I am feeling good. So far I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm not complaining. I went out friday night, came back to my hotel room and got some good sleep and I went to WildFire Saturday night as well. I didn't really have any big plan. I kept saying "I have no friends" besides the ones at school but I go home a lot because I like seeing my family and the "friends" I do have out here are too busy I guess...idk and idc. Not saying there not my friends but I'm at a point where I just "AW OK" and keep it moving like I been doing. Aint nothing wrong with loving people from a distance. Sooooo!!! I think I'm going to be open to meet new people and have a good time whille I'm 22. I'm ready for what life has to offer and I'm going to work hard to get what I want. For some reason I woke this morning on my birthday feeling a sense of growth out of nowhere LOL..seriously. I think it's because there is no time to feel sad, negative, or allow people to change who I am if it not inspiring or just love in general. My journey is becoming a learning experience I'm loving every minute of it :)

BACK AT IT.

 Hey Guys, I decided to blog today because it has really been while since last time. I have been doing a lot of different things since the last time I blogged. Updates: I'm in the spring recital (so rehearsals every week), updating my resume because I've been applying to internships like crazy, I've been going home on the weekends lately, shopping of course and etc... but I'm back!! 
I'm blogging again because I realized that this really helps me stay balance with my myself in terms of continuing being positive, happy and productive. I really have not been feeling encouraged to do anything since Monday. I think I'm just being lazy though, the weekend can do that to me sometimes. Even though I haven't been blogging, I try to read positive quotes, have inspiring conversations with my sister, or post motivating things on IG. I can say that my roommate hosted a vision board party of what goals you have for 2014 through images and I really enjoyed it. That was something I wanted to blog about but never got to it. I can show you guys my vision board though because It was really nice:) So today was not my day, I kept missing the bus to class and I did not understand that because I was up waaaaaaay before my classes just to get some things done ahead of time but that did not happen, so I just stayed in my apartment today very irritated. About 3pm I got a call from a company I applied to for an internship and they want to interview me :) That made my day today so I decided to blog realizing that I shouldnt sweat the small stuff because I can lose sight of what is possible for other opportunites. Soooooo the memo for me this week is to not sweat the small stuff !! Just brush it off and keep it moving:)

I'm Just Saying.

           Heyy!! So I felt the urge to blog this morning because this has been on my mind for a while. I stay in my own little bubble since I am kind of a introverted person, but even so I have my moments. To cut right to the chase... I really do not understand people having to put all their business on social networks...I JUST DON'T GET IT. In addition to those that cannot be alone, maybe it is just me but I seriously do not NEED to be around people all the time. I don't think it is a bad thing but I just don't like that. I LOVE my privacy. I get that everybody likes their quiet time but most people just like to hear themselves talk, don't know when enough is enough, or just need to be in a presence on someone. It's a matter of how you feel about yourself because that or people doesn't define who you are. Yess!! I'll be there for a friend if they want to talk or have something on their mind because that is what friends are for..the hard times, the happy times but I guess because of the person I am just don't understand that. I have been there for a multiple of my friends and vice vera but I really think that it is something that needs to be noticed with self. I'm just venting tho, don't mind me. LOL

Quick note...

PEOPLE WILL TRY YOU!!! DON'T LET ANYONE TAKE YOUR JOY OR MAKE YOU FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY ONCE THEY "TRY" TO BRING YOU DOWN IN ANY FORM OR FASHION. TUNE NEGITIVITY OUT OF YOUR WORLD. MOVE ON...KEEP THAT HEAD UP. 

Grateful

       Good morning!! It's pretty early but I had to blog this morning. First I want to share some inspiration I got through a text this morning from my granny. She texted me to say how she is so proud of me while she was looking at me baby pictures. She started to remember when I was a kid and how I have grown into a beautiful young woman. She loves that I am at school getting an education and working towards my dreams and aspirations. She truly loves me and I love her too but most of all I'm so grateful for her.  

 

                      After that text message I realize it is very important to know how grateful you are even for the little things. I have great family and friends that help me on my journey to success and I'm there for them, but sometimes we don't realize that until the last minute. Let's focus on counting our blessing and not our troubles ( I wanted to quote that but I really forgot who said it ugh sorry lol). So I'm going to start off this week being grateful and making the most out of what I have. I'm also staying inside because it extremely cold out today, so I hope everyone in the Midwest stays warm and cozy ( spring is around the corner yay!). While I'm inside warm and cozy I'm just going to do some homework, work on my choreography for Mine by Beyoncé, and probably watch some vlog on YouTube lol.  Have a good day peeps!!!   

                                

Feeling of mine

So it's the end of the week (Friday) and today has been a struggle with my emotions. I became frustrated because I started to think about different things all at once. It became overwhelming and I just wasn't in the mood of being around people or doing anything but studying. I talk to my mom and told her why these feeling came over me. At the moment I felt like I have yet to apply myself towards my academics like I should be because I am easily distracted, I need a car (..or maybe I really want one-same difference lol) but I have different things going on now that made me realize I kinda don't have the resources to try and be super woman right now. I would love to have a job as well but do I need one really??? My mom cheered me up because I was feeling really down. I just thought of everything I want/needed all at once and frustration took over my emotions and that's not good. Eventually I had to let these emotions out so I cried in the car with my friend. I was really holding it in ( I don't cry in front of people, I'm just a G like that lol) but sometimes you can't help it. I needed to do that. I have great friends that support me, is there when I need them to be for anything, but I just didn't want my feeling to show at that particular moment. What I am trying to say is that I am human, and it's okay for me to feel this way sometime BUT...don't put yourself down like I did, because now I realize that only made things worst. I am a very positive person and I know when things happen in my life rather good or bad, it happens when it suppose to because that's God plan. I have to have even more faith than what I already have. I believe I will receive all my blessing but/and patience is a virtue. I think I have to sometimes step back and tell myself I am in control of every situation I am in and if I want to see any changes I have the ability to apply myself and work towards whatever goal I have set. Soooo to wrap this week up..it was an eye opening experience to what I really need to do for this semester in order for me to pass my classes, save money, not get distracted with my friends, and keep a beautiful attitude no matter what....hint hint next weeks memo :)

                                           

Weekly Memo

Today I want to focus the week on productivity and self growth with patience and self worth/love. This week I'm going to turn these terms into action everyday to better myself academically, mentally and spiritually. I want to get a lot things done with my study's this week but I also want to have a positive attitude doing so with everything I do. It's going to be a challenge but I know I can do it because I have faith and believe if I really want to do something it will and can happen for me. So......as a weekly memo I encourage my people to not let anyone still your joy that you have created for yourself no matter what. Be the change you want in your life weather you are starting big or small. Let's make it a productive week. 

Natural Thick Curls

I decided to blow dry my hair and curl it while it was still in its course/thick state. My hair was still moisturizes with olive oil from two days ago so I didn't add any other product. Once I finished blow drying my hair, I twist and Bantu knot it dry. I tried the Bantu knot wet and it didn't work out lol...anywho I let it sit for over night and this is the beautiful result. My hair is growing so muh and so healthy all because of less heat and sew-ins.