No Love Though

              Okay it is not hard to see that I am single LOL.... I'm just going to jump straight into whats going and how I feel because it is really taking a toll on my conscience. I really liked this guy at my school but I never thought of talking to him like that or trying to pursue him in anyway. He was just someone I admire from afar whenever I saw him. So...long story short he got my number and we were texting for a quite a while until I saw him because at that point I had not seen him since that last semester. A month went by and we finally we out. After that little first "date" I did not like him. I was just turned completely off. Now, he has nice conversations, good things going for him, but I was just not attracted to him like I was. I'm telling my friends this and there are like just give him another chance maybe it was awkward the first time or whatever so I agreed. I gave it another shot but I really already had my mind made up about how I felt...How know maybe it was gonna change. Anyway the second date and it went so much better than the first date, but I still did feel attracted to him, like I honestly didn't find him a ounce appealing to besides his conversation. So time is passing and I'm getting texts everyday from him and calls and things like that but I'm in the back of my head like " I don't like you, leave me alone". Me saying this to myself is obviously not making him go away. Now too much time has moved on and I'm still getting texts and calls pretending like I'm busy and lying basically on why I'm not responding. At this point the people I'm seeking advice from are telling me to just tell that you just wanna be a friend and how you feel. But! It has gotten to a point where i don't want to hurt his feeling because I know he likes me. So this text I got from him today was just a hey and i didn't respond. He felt some type of way and made a statement on instagram....now my name not tagged but....come on na lol. So now I think I should just let him know it's not like that and I'm sorry you really like but I got a lot of me to work on....Yall don't even know what I like about him before we even started talking...am I crazy lbvs? does anybody feel like that sometimes with someone they like but then don't like lol...I think I'm single because of me. I really wanna be in a relationship but do I really though because I am a very to-myslef-don't-need-love-and-affection-from-a-guy person and i don't wan to block myself from a good one but I do know it is me half of the time smh.  P.S. I over think everything but I honestly just don't like him in the way he likes me.

Becoming Me!

                   I am just in love with who I am becoming to be. I see myself really evolving into a more positive and smart person. I'm learning something new everyday while I'm on my winter break and it is really opening my eyes to opportunities that I realized has always been in my reach but never had the drive to go the extra mile for. Yes! I have my moments of doubt but there not as constant like they use to be because of the change in my mind set and in the actions that i show to helps myself get out of the doubtful thinking. Its hard...I know, but its hard work for the better of ME! I'm trying to spread the word, the love, and the positivity the best way I can. I think I feel this way because I believed in something and faith/hope brought to believe that with God it is possible. I'll be honest I use to struggle with my main course classes for a couple of semesters, which led me to believe that I was not smart like everyone else or was not a fast learner so I would not graduate on time. The feeling of degradation and just always pessimistic in the back of my head showed me that that train of thought was not helping me pass my classes, do my work to the best of my abilities, or feel good about myself in any way. Well, that feeling is gone, this passed semester I passed all of my classes...even the hard ones and if I did this semester and can do it again next semester and the semester after that. It really open the door to my intelligence and positive spirit. I'm just in a good place with myself as far as ME is concern. My love life.......Now that's a different story LOL.

Ugh where is he?

Nelson Mandela...A Great Man!

My fav Boots!

Hey guys! I just had to let you know what I love this winter. Now the boots won't last for the whole winter because their actual leather and they can get cold but right now I love them. I got them from Marshall's and they were on sale. The original price was $179 of the Tommy Hilfiger boot collection but I got them for at least $50. I didn't purchase them this black Friday but I will eventually do a black Friday haul. Just wanted to let you know my favorite thing this week. Enjoy!